First phone call of the year.

On Sunday morning at half past six the Bitsnbobs phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hi, it’s Bob.”

“Bob?”

“In Scotland.”

“Scotland?”

“With the boxes, in the railway cartridges.”

“Boxes? Railway cartridges?”

“Have you just woken up?”

“I have.”

“Would you like me to ring back?”

“No, I’d like a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice and a warm croissant with apricot jam.”

“Sorry, nae can do.”

“Nae?”

“I’m from Scotland, I’m Bob, with the boxes in the railway carridges-look, click on this link.”

I don’t know how he sent a link through the phone, but I clicked on it, read it and it all came flooding back.

“Ah! Bob! How are the boxes? How is Scotland? What were they thinking??!!!! A fantastic opportunity to start a new country and they voted against it, I don’t understand.”

“Yeah, weird, bunch of Ostrich’s if you ask me.”

“Ostriches?”

“Aye, now, the reason I’m ringing is that I found the letterbox.”

“Letterbox?”

“Aye, letterbox, Bitsnbobs has a letterbox.”

“It does?”

“Aye it do.”

“You ate what?”

“What?”

“You just said - I ate doo.”

“Nae, I never touch the stuff. What d’ya wan’ me t’do wit’ the letters?”

“Letters?”

“Aye, them in the box?”

“Is this the same box as the boxes, or the letterbox?”

“The letter box.”

“Is it a real letterbox then, with letters and stamps and all?”

“Aye”

“I didn’t know we had one. Could you read them out.”

“Aye , I could.”

And he did.

The first one was from a someone who hadn’t signed a name and it said –‘I’ve been reading your blog….’

A reader! We have a reader!

It went on – ‘it’s good.”

Nice, I like this person.

Then they said – “Absurd.”

Is that good? Is it a compliment? I can’t tell.

I asked Bob.

“I’m not qualified.”

“Oh.”

“Do you want me to read another?”

“ Are there enough to fill a whole month?”

“Probably not.”

“Don’t bother then. Is it snowing?”

“Not yet.”

“How are the boxes?”

“Nice. Well organised. Chaotically.”

My kind of archive.

“Bye.”